


Flowers and Sunglasses

by mrs_frickface



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Best Friends, Crying, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, just pure platonic love, no smut here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 14:00:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10923270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_frickface/pseuds/mrs_frickface
Summary: “Grief is like the ocean;it comes on waves ebbing and flowing.Sometimes the water is calm,and sometimes it is overwhelming.All we can do is learn to swim.”– Vicki Harrison





	Flowers and Sunglasses

The sun shone and the wind blew soft as Charmer and Deacon arrived at the Old North Church. It was about 6 pm and the two of them had a long day of fighting Raiders and rescuing a synth behind them. Charmer was about to open the door of the church as Deacon suddenly stood still.

“Is everything alright, Deeks?”, she asked her partner.

“Yeah, I’m good, pal. But you know what? After a day like this, I have absolutely no desire to see that asshole Carrington.”

“But we have to report about the synth.”

Deacon sighed deeply. “You’re right, Charms. I’m sorry. New idea: you go report to the douche-doc, and I wait here for you.”

“And then? And what should I tell Dez where you are?”

“And then we’ll grab some drinks in Goodneighbor. Lemme invite you. And I’m sure you can think of a nice lie you can tell Dez, I mean, you spend a lot of time with me, I’m sure you learned a bit.”

Charmer knew something was wrong with her friend. She couldn’t exactly tell what it was, but she felt like something was bothering Deacon. She obliged and stepped into the Railroad headquarters alone, thinking of a lie she could tell her leader. 

After she reported to Carrington, Desdemona addressed her. “Charmer. A word, please.”  
Charmer followed Desdemona, who went to the door that lead to the church.

“Where is Deacon?”, Desdemona asked her in a serious, worried tone.

“He’s… I’m not a good liar, Dez, I’ll just tell you: he’s outside. Something seems to bother him and he insisted to wait outside.”

Desdemona nodded before she took Charmers wrist to look at the pip-boy attached to it. The look on her face suddenly saddened. 

“I understand.”, she finally said, “You can go now. I don’t have any assignments for you right now. Take care.”

Charmer was confused. Desdemona clearly seemed to know what was up with Deacon. Should she ask him? Should she wait until he tells her? She decided to wait. She didn’t want to bother him more. If he’s ready, he’ll tell her. She stepped out of the church after she made her decision.

Deacon sat on the step in front of the church, but stood up immediately after he heard the door open. He turned around, facing Charmer. His eyes were bloodshot. _Oh my god, he cried._ , Charmer thought to herself. There was no way he didn’t recognize the shock in her expression.

“I’m sorry, Charmer. I promise, I’ll pay for everything tonight. Let me hug you.”

The confusion in Charmer grew with every second. Deacon never was the hugging type. Sure, they hugged a few times, but only under certain circumstances. When Charmer learned that her son was the leader of the Institute, when Deacon told her about his dead wife, when Glory died, after destroying the Institute… yeah, that must be it. She was absolutely sure now that Deacon had a lot on his mind that day, so she hugged him without hesitating. 

“Let’s head to Goodneighbor, pal.”, she said.

“You lead the way, Charms.”

  


* * *

  


It was late at night when Charmer and Deacon were sitting on a couch in The Third Rail, each of them at their third bottle of bourbon now.

“Alright,” Deacon said, taking a sip again, “I think I’m drunk enough to tell you what’s going on.”

“What’s up, Deeks? I’m worried.”

“I know. I know…” He took another sip, the sip that emptied his bottle. He put his sunglasses down, rubbed his eyes and put his face in hands. It was obvious that he still was uncomfortable despite his level of drunkenness. He took a moment before he put his shades back on and finally looked at Charmer again.

“It’s… it’s Barbara’s birthday today. Or, it was, a few hours ago. She would’ve turned 42.”

Everything started to make sense now. Deacon’s mood, the hug, Desdemona’s look at the pip-boy. Charmer was struggling with words, but she knew Deacon didn’t expect any words. He only expected her to be there for him, and she was glad to offer him the support he needed.

“I’m so sorry, Deacon. Please, continue if you want to.”

“No, no, I don’t really want to talk about her anymore. Jesus, Charmer, she died twenty-three years ago and it still hurts. It still fucking hurts not to be able to celebrate her birthday with her. She would’ve liked you. You’d probably be best friends, you’re very much alike.”

“I don’t know what to say, buddy. Except that I kinda know how you feel. I mean, the thing with Nate is still pretty fresh, but… I got drunk on his birthday, too. He would be 42 as well.”

“That’s why I feel at least a bit comfortable telling you about her. Because you know. When was his birthday?”

“Last month.”

“The day you left HQ alone?”

“Yes. I went to the vault, sat in front of his cryo pod and celebrated his birthday.”

Charmer’s bottle was empty as well now. Deacon got off the couch and brought the bottles to a trash can nearby. He took Charmer by her hand as he returned to her.

“We got enough for tonight, let’s go to the hotel.”

The pair shared a hotel room for the night. They never had a problem sleeping in the same bed. None of them had any sexual intentions and they were the best platonic friends one can imagine. They didn’t care if the people talked. Deacon and Charmer knew the truth, and that’s what mattered to them. 

“Deacon. Are you awake?”, Charmer asked after a few minutes of silently lying next to each other.

“Yeah, buddy. What’s up?”

“Does she have a grave?”

Charmer heard him swallow hardly. He was definitely not prepared for that question.

“Yeah. I buried her behind our farm. Why?”

“I think you should visit her. Talk to her. Maybe it would be good for you. I felt better after spending time with Nate. Well, except the hangover I had the next day.”

“I haven’t been there since it happened, Charmer, I don’t know if that would be cool.”

“Just one more reason to do it. Trust me, Deacon. It’s actually very relieving. You don’t have to, but I think it would help you a bit.”

Deacon didn’t say anything for what felt like an eternity to Charmer. He was lost in his thoughts. _Is she right? Should I visit Barb? Will I really feel better after talking to my dead wife?_

“Would it be okay if we do this tomorrow?”, he finally asked his partner.

“Of course. As soon as you’re ready, we’ll head out.”

“Thank you, pal. For everything. Goodnight, Charms.”

“Goodnight, Deeks.”

  


* * *

  


“Why did you two settle down so far up north?”, Charmer wondered on their way to Deacon’s farm. They were almost at the edge of the Commonwealth, only a few miles west from the Nakano residence.

“I wanted to live as far away from University Point as possible. I have no idea why we stayed in the Commonwealth though. If I knew back then what I know now, hell, I would’ve taken her to the Mojave or something, anywhere those Deathclaw sons of bitches couldn’t find her.”

_Yeah, I wouldn’t have filled that Vault-Tec form as well if I knew what kind of bastards they were._ , Charmer just thought to herself. She didn’t respond loudly because she knew when to shut up.

“Well. Here we are.”, Deacon announced as they arrived at a farm about half an hour later. Charmer was stunned by how the farm looked like. Sure, it looked as fucked up as every place in the wasteland. But besides that, it looked mostly untouched. No signs of raiders or gunners or super mutants. It was just too far up north for anyone to takeover. The shack was in good condition and the sticks which held the tato plants were still standing.

“I buried her up there. Would you please wait inside? I guess there still must be some chairs or something.”

“Of course, Deacon. Take your time.”

“I will, Charmer. Thanks.”

Charmer located herself in a small room that once must have been the kitchen. As soon as she sat down, she took advantage of the ashtray that lay on the table and tried to find a way to watch Deacon from there. But she couldn’t see anything because of the wall and probably because Barbara’s grave was too far away.

Deacon climbed up a hill a bit north of his farm. When he saw hubflowers, he knew he found his wife. He took his sunglasses down and kneeled in front of the flowers.

“Sooo,”, he began to talk to Barbara, already on the verge of tears, “you probably wonder why my face looks like that. But if the rumors are true and dead people actually look down to us from heaven, you probably don’t. I’m… I’m so sorry, darling. I’m sorry I couldn’t take care of you. I’m sorry those damn bastards found you. I’m sorry I didn’t go with you. I didn’t deserve you. Scum like me doesn’t deserve an angel like you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m thankful for every second I got to spent with you. I love you, Barb, I still do after all these years without you. Never forget that. Because I’ll never forget you.” Deacon chuckled for a second. “And I’m sorry I shaved my head, I know you loved my hair. But I need to blend in, and that’s just not possible with red hair. But if that helps anything, I promise I will never change my face again. I love you darling. I’ll be here again next year.”

Deacon put his sunglasses on his wife’s grave before he wiped his tears away and went to the shack. 

“You alright, Deeks?”, Chamer asked as he entered the kitchen.

“Surprisingly, I’m very well, Chamer. I just hope I have another pair of sunglasses in my bag.

The two laughed and, of course, Deacon had an extra pair of sunglasses with him. They sat in the kitchen for a while, smoking and sharing stories about their spouses. 

“You know,” Deacon said after some time, “you can talk to her if you want to.”

“I don’t know, Deacon, I’ve never met her.”

“Yeah, I know. But like I said: you would’ve liked her. I wouldn’t mind, honest. She’s up on the hill. You can’t miss her, she’s got my sunglasses.”

Charmer hesitated, but she decided to do it. She gave Deacon her cigarette and went to the hill to talk to her friend’s wife.

“Um, hi, Barbara.” She felt awkward. She just stood there with her hands in her pockets, but realized that this was disrespectful so she got her hands out again. “So, your hubby told me it’s okay if I talk to you. And I don’t really know what to say, except for one thing. I’ll be there for him. I’ll make sure to take care of him and that nothing happens to him. He’s a good guy. You can be proud of him.”

Charmer heard footsteps behind her. When she turned around, Deacon took a step towards her, pulling her into a hug.

“Thank you, Charmer. For everything. Let’s get back to HQ before Dez hires Valentine to find us.” 

“After you, Deacon.”

Both of them took a step away from the grave, before Deacon turned around one last time.

“Happy belated birthday, darling.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it down here: thank you very much! This is the first work I felt comfortable posting, so please be gentle. Honest, but gentle :D special thanks goes to deichqueen for reading it in advance and for helping me with the title!


End file.
